I can’t even begin to tell you how happy Jon and I are to finally have our baby Sadie here safe and sound. This second pregnancy has been full of ups and downs, emotionally speaking, for me, and not the kind that can come with simply being pregnant. For the first 28 weeks of this pregnancy, I assumed everything was normal and fine, just as it had been with my first. That all changed quickly and opened my eyes to a whole new world of prayer.

Let me back up a bit.

After our first ultrasound, we were told Sadie’s due date was September 14. Of course, the first thing a girl does when she finds out she’s pregnant is trying to figure out the due date. Well, I had come up with September 11, but we went with what the doctor told us, since he is the one with the M.D.  and all.

With this pregnancy, I felt even better than I did with my first one. My first pregnancy was textbook to the T. I had no morning sickness and everything went smoothly all the way until the end. I was off to a great start with this second one, in my mind, since I felt even better than before. I was a lot more tired those first few weeks, but as everyone told me, I was chasing around a 2-year-old boy.

We were so excited to hear we were having a girl at the 20 week ultrasound appointment. We already had a girl’s name picked out from our first pregnancy, so that’s what we went with for this baby.

Sadie Jane.

I’ve always like the name Sadie. It’s not that common and it’s not a totally out there name either.

Jane is for my great grandma. It was her middle name. We shared a birthday and I always loved having that connection with her.

Around the 28 week mark, every pregnant woman seems to hate the glucose test. I have yet to discover what the fuss is all about. You drink some highly concentrated sugar-water, wait an hour or so, and have some blood taken. It’s really not that big of a deal. I don’t know why everyone seems to make a big deal about it. Oh well.

As with my first pregnancy, I flunked the one hour glucose test and had to return for the three-hour test.

Again, in my mind, no big deal. I passed with Wyatt, I’ll pass with Sadie.

Only I didn’t.

I received the phone call in the afternoon. I wasn’t by myself, so I didn’t feel like I could ask any questions. I was told I had flunked the three-hour glucose test and would have to see a specialist within a week or so to discuss a diet. While on the phone with the nurse, she proceeded to tell me everything that can go wrong with being diagnosed with gestational diabetes.

And by everything, I mean everything.

Your baby could be huge.

You could end up having a C-section.

You will more than likely have to be induced.

Your baby could be still-born.

You will have to have twice a week testing, including ultrasound and non-stress tests.

You might have to go on insulin.

Any questions?

Of course I said no. My mind was trying to process everything it had just heard.

My immediate reaction was one of anger. I’m a healthy person. I don’t overly eat lots of sugar. I try to eat semi-healthy. How could I have possibly been diagnosed with gestational diabetes? I’m a healthy person. Diabetes doesn’t happen to me.

I will honestly say, it took me a little while to wrap my mind around this news. I was almost ashamed. In my mind, this couldn’t be possible.

I realize being diagnosed with gestational diabetes is not the end of the world, but I simply wasn’t prepared for it.

Like I mentioned, this pregnancy was full of ups and downs for me. I tried to control my sugar intake via diet alone from the diet the nutritionist gave me, but that didn’t work. I had to test my blood sugar four times a day and record it. The numbers just weren’t low enough, so I was put on medication to try to help control it. I tried desperately to stick to the diet and carb intake that was allotted for me, but my blood sugar numbers were still too high for the nutritionist.

At every ultrasound, doctor’s appointment and non-stress test I had, Sadie looked perfect. All her numbers were great and she was growing like she was supposed to.

This was great news to me. It was also discouraging, because my blood sugar numbers were still high. It seemed after every doctor’s appointment I would come in all positive, hoping that what I had been doing would be good enough to quit the blood sugar medication. But, after each appointment, I would hear the same thing, your baby looks gorgeous, but she could still be very large, you will probably have to be induced, your blood sugar numbers are too high, are you sure you’re taking your medication and eating right?

The other frustrating part of gestational diabetes is the added cost of all the additional testing required. With no maternity insurance, we were paying for everything out of our own pockets.

Babies are not cheap.

Gestational diabetes babies are not cheap.

God was so good to us. We never missed a payment and somehow the money would always show up for us to be able to pay these bills. I can not express to you how it felt to look at my bank account, the day before an appointment, and not have the money there. Only to receive a check  that afternoon, which would provide for the doctor’s bill the following day.

God really stretched me in trusting Him to provide for us.

As the pregnancy neared 32 weeks, they began stepping up the ultrasounds and appointments. At my 36 week appointment I was told they like to induce women with gestational diabetes around 39 weeks. This is so the baby doesn’t get too big and create complications during birth. It also decreased the likelihood of being stillborn.

This was news to me and again, I had to process it. With Wyatt, my water broke and he was born naturally on his due date. I know you’re not supposed to compare your children, but this was what I knew, how could I not compare?

Of course, I wanted to wait as long as safely possible to give Sadie a chance to come on her own.

At 37 weeks I had another ultrasound to measure her growth. Sadie weighed 5.5 pounds. Now the pendulum had shifted from, “you will have a large baby” to “your baby is small, I’m not worried so much about the blood sugar anymore”.

Again, more to process mentally and emotionally. The highs and lows and discouraging blood sugar numbers I had been getting the last few weeks all seemed like it was for nothing.

The doctors were leaving it up to me on if I wanted to induce, but they all strongly recommended I not go past 39 weeks. I struggled with this decision. Jon and I prayed about it and I prayed for peace, no matter what happened.

I really felt a change in attitude those last two weeks. Maybe it was because we were so close to the end and I was ready to be done with the doctor’s visits. But I think it was really God answering my prayer and giving me peace about whatever happened.

We decided to be induced September 5.

With my first pregnancy I worked with a doula, Jaalah with Pitterpatterson Doula Services and she was amazing. I knew I wanted to have her with Jon and I with this pregnancy and she was a lot of encouragement and support to me.

Well, September 5th came and we arrived at the hospital at 6 AM ready to go.

I wasn’t really nervous. I knew that whatever happened would be in God’s hands and I just left it at that. It was my goal to try to go as natural as possible with being induced, but I was leaving my options open. I had heard all the horror stories with being induced, so I wanted to be as open as possible to pain medication.

They started pitocin at 7:25 AM and set it to increase every 30 minutes.

Around 8:30 AM the doctor came and broke my water.

Around noon things began to get a lot more intense. The contractions were farther apart, but stronger. My doula encouraged me to get up and walk around or at least sit up, as this would help speed things along.

At 12:25 we were at 5 cm. At this point the contractions were very intense and I began to wonder how much longer I could keep up with them. In my mind if I had several more hours to go, there was no way we were going to make it without medication.

I finally made the decision that I wanted an epidural at 12:45. I honestly felt like a failure in my mind. I wanted to be strong enough to go natural and I felt like I let myself down. I know it’s stupid to think that, but in my mind I did. I had really wanted to hold out as long as I could, but just couldn’t do it any longer. I was disappointed with myself. Jon and my doula both supported my decision with the epidural and both said I wasn’t a failure.

So they called the anesthesiologist and said he would be there in 15 minutes. We had the nurse check again and she said we were at 10 cm. My doula explained to me that by the time the epidural would take effect, Sadie would probably be born. So, we decided to nix the epidural and around 1:15 I started to push.

Seven minutes later and three pushes, Sadie Jane was born at 1:23 pm weighing 6 pounds, 10 ounces and measuring 19.25 inches long.

I can’t tell you how glad I was to finally have her here. It wasn’t the relief of being done with contractions and birth so much as it was all the emotions and ups and downs with the gestational diabetes and concerns of her being still-born, or her being this 12 pound baby, or having some other defect. I was so glad all of that was over and I could finally enjoy Sadie.

If you were to ask me, would I do it again? If everything went the exact same? Absolutely. If the labor had been any longer, no way. I would have gotten that pain medication. But, praise the Lord, it wasn’t. He knew it was my desire to go as natural as possible and I honestly believe that’s how I was able to get through it.

Sadie is now 10 days old. She’s beautiful. I have to wake her up at night to feed her and she sleeps like a pro. She’s got this super dark hair which makes her look a lot like me as a baby. I see a lot of Wyatt in her too.

Speaking of Wyatt, he loves Sadie. He tries to be helpful, which sometimes he is and other times. . . well. . . he tries.

Thank you for all of you who were praying for us. It was greatly appreciated!

I am not a newborn photographer by any means, but here’s a few that I took of baby Sadie.